Micah came into this world almost a month ago but his story began before the day we laid eyes on our new son.
While I don’t feel it appropriate to share everything, I do want to share some of how God placed him with us.
On April 26th, we attended our first adoption meeting and on October 22nd Michah Nicholas came into this world and into our family. It blows me away to think that the day Adam and I sat to listen to the adoption process in a meeting, God was already molding our sweet boy in his birth mommy’s tummy. And He was molding our hearts to be ready to meet him not too long after. That day we felt like we’d already been waiting forever but God had gone before us as He always does and knew that the waiting would bring the perfect child into our family. Thank you God for knowing what we don’t.
About a month before Micah was born I was really struggling with when we would have another baby. I was wondering why God wanted us to wait. I was sad to keep waiting. But God was preparing me.
On a Thursday in October I ran 10 miles. At least 8 of those were spent telling God all of my fears and releasing my will to His. I know that sounds crazy to some, but it was amazingly freeing to leave that run with a changed heart and having told God that I’d wait a year…I’d wait two or however long for another child. I wouldn’t keep being sad but in the meantime I’d cherish my son and husband. I finished that run knowing I would be clinging to the Lord and that I’d be just fine.
The next day I went to the dentist and as a friend who had adopted cleaned my teeth (weird, I know), she told me all about their adoption and about the waiting and asked me questions. As I listened I processed so many things about what I’d expected and how God just does His own thing and doesn’t leave us without peace. It was finally fun to hear someone else’s story.
I got home that afternoon and saw I had missed a call. It was the call we’d been waiting for…so we thought. A mom having a girl had chosen us! She wanted to meet with us that following Wednesday! We were thrilled and nervous. After meeting with her though we had an uneasy feeling about the situation. Remember how God always provides peace? The next day we talked to Jana (our adoption specialist) and she understood our concerns. We really didn’t know where to go from there. Do we reject what God had seemingly placed in our hands? Certainly not right? Well, about an hour later we got another call from J saying something very unexpected (Adam got this call). This doesn’t normally happen, but the people in the Bethany office (our agency) felt like the holy spirit was prompting them to give us an opportunity to show our book to another mom. What?. The mom would be looking at book THAT DAY. What?.
I’ll just be honest, I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t even make an decision. I knew any decision I chose would be purely one from a heightened emotional state and I’d question if it was right. I was so thankful to have a Godly, spiritual leader for my husband in that moment. I knew I could give it over to him and he’d make a decision that was best. So Adam chose to show her our profile book. Funny thing though…they didn’t take our book to show (the profile books are the books you spend weeks making…pouring over the perfect pictures and telling the perfect story of your family to show to birth mothers). So this mom looked at four beautiful books of other couples. And after looking at these books (with stories and pictures) was shown a picture of us on a cell phone. Sigh…who would choose that over those books? Well…She said “that mom (me) has a sparkle and I want them to raise my baby”.
God goes before us. He tramples reason.
What?!? (PS allllll of this happened while Adam was out of town) I was at lunch while we waited to see if she chose us with Adam’s co-workers and on the drive there my only words were. “OH MY GOSH” I road with a friend who thankfully I could tell our story to and repeat that phrase to repeatedly.
I had asked God to made it abundantly clear where He was leading and He did. And the next part was that this baby BOY could be born at any moment! WHAT?!?? YAYYYYY!!!!
For the moment all we knew was he was healthy, big, and coming at any time. So we set up places for Emerson and we waited….