Posts Tagged With: domestic adoption

Meeting Micah

I’ve posted before about the day we met our second son. The call, the drive, the hospital stay…but I put very few, if any pictures of that day. I’d love to share a glimpse of the day we met him. There was immense excitement and unlike E’s birth..I remember every moment. With E I felt like the whole day was an experience that overwhelmed every part of me. It was intense and real, painful and emotional. It clouded my memory and left me so thankful to have pictures. With M, though….the entire day felt like somebody else’s day that I was watching with amazement. In all ways it was somebody else’s day. Somebody else’s moment. And to grasp that it was also our day is kind of surreal.

The day was beautiful, as was every soaked up moment. I was excited like a little child and also I was internally telling myself that God had ordained this day. He made it to be and no matter what happened I should be all in. It’s easy to want to stand back and not get too close. At that moment it’s all up for grabs. My baby wasn’t yet my baby and at the same time..he was all ours. And we stood Β in awe of him.

Here are a few of the moments we got to experience.. many of those moments are too precious and sacred to share outside of our family.

I don't think I could gather a thought or sentence in this moment..

I don’t think I could gather a thought or sentence in this moment..

The nurse allowed him to meet daddy before going to the nursery

The nurse allowed him to meet daddy before going to the nursery

We have a baby boy!

We have a baby boy!

First bath...not a fan that day

First bath…not a fan that day

Yummmm.

Yummmm.

IMG_7035 IMG_7009 IMG_7014 IMG_7037 IMG_7039

Going home :)

Going home πŸ™‚

Every time I look at these I can see in our faces that same look as the first time we sat in a hospital with our first born baby boy…”I am so happy I can’t even say happy or any other word that should describe this and at the same time I can’t even believe that this is real…wow.” There are just very little thoughts or words to describe this wonderful day.

But wonderful is a good place to start. πŸ™‚

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Categories: Adoption | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Micah’s story, part two: the hospital

(if you;d like to catch up on part 1, read my previous post)

At 7:10 am on October 22nd, I was up getting ready for my mom’s bible study and Adam was getting Emerson breakfast. My phone rang. It was time to go to the hospital and welcome our second son to the world! AHHHHHHH!!!! I hung up the phone and literally screamed and jumped up and down. Adam looked at me like… I was his wife (he knows my level of crazy) and we went into action. We got Emerson to his planned destination and loaded up into the car that had been packed with stuff for the hospital for a few days. We had waited only five days for the hospital call! As we drove a few hours away to the hospital we prayed and talked about various baby things. We tried deparately to settle on a name. Micah had been one of the only names we both loved and Nicholas is an adaptation of my middle name (Emerson has Adam’s). By the time we reached the hospital, Micah Nicholas was settled.

Micah Nicholas..love. πŸ™‚

This story is amazing to me. I just have to warn you that it’s not possible I could do it justice with my words.

Before arriving we knew we’d be meeting the birth mom that day. I’ll call her Shelly. We knew she was willing to have me in the room for the delivery. That was an amazing thing. That’s about all we knew.

As we journeyed toward her room, hand in hand, my heart was beating out of my chest. I am about to meet my son’s birth mother. The woman who is carrying him and loves him in a way I’ll never know. We are joyfully walking into this room but also saddened by the situation and the sadness she has…the reality that as we welcome him, she is saying a heartbreaking good-bye. How do you navigate equal amounts of joy and sorrow? You ask for wisdom and walk in the room and do the best you know how. You don’t know how.

We opened the door and there was Shelly and the adoption counselor, Michelle. There she was. She smiled her big, beautiful smile at us and we exchanged big hugs. For a few hours we got to sit and get to know her as we waited for Micah to arrive. We heard about her life, her children, Micah’s family, her interests, the moment she chose us, and many other things I’ll cherish forever. Many things I tucked away in my memory to write down to share with Micah one day. In those few hours I saw her concern as Micah’s heart rate dropped. I saw her love for him and I was so thankful. I had prayed that God would bless his story with a mom who loves him. A mom who didn’t want to see him go. And He did. I get to share that with him as he grows…that his other mom, she loves him and she wants to know how he is. That overwhelms my heart. I know not all children will have that..

After some time, the doctor came in the room and announced they would be taking her for a c-section because Micah’s heart rate was dropping too low.

She allowed me to come too. I want to say that in some beautiful way….how much that meant, how hard that must have been, but I can’t. She allowed both of his moms to welcome him. It brings me to my knees to think about. I can’t even describe the joy it brought to see him come into this world.

After putting on the really fashionable scrubs I joined her in the operating room. I’ll never in a thousand years have a more powerful moment. We held hands and cried together. She allowed me to pray with her and encourage her strength throughout the surgery. Our eyes were locked on each other until the moment we heard his first strong cry. We both smiled and she told me to go meet him. God’s power guided those moments. On my own I may have had a million scary thoughts whirling around, a million things I would have done differently but His thoughts entered my mind in that moment. I wouldn’t have changed a thing…Don’t for a moment think I’m strong on my own. I was overwhelmed by her strength more than my own.

We let go of each others hand and I went over to meet Micah. He was gorgeous (aside from the newborn goo), and spittin mad. πŸ˜‰ Shelly told me “congratulations mom”..and tears of joy flooded my eyes.

I’ll never be able to thank the nurses enough for their thoughtfullness. I lost all brain power as I stared at him and they reminded me to take pictures. One of them took my camera from me for a picture together and as she whisked us to the nursery she broke the rules and let me go introduce him to Adam for a split second.

In the nursery they went through all of their tests and such and I just watched him. Adam watched through the window and we smiled at each other. Our baby boy was with us! And again, he was MAD…until he got a bottle which he loudly gulped down. πŸ˜‰

We FINALLY got to go to our room with him (another generous thing the hospital provided) to cuddle and fall deeper in love with our newest son. Our son. Wow. We stayed with him every minute we could for the next few days. I got one night alone with him while Adam went home to be with Emerson.

The next morning Micah spent some time with Shelly and they said their “see you laters”. I’m forever thankful for the time we got to spend with her. I’m thankful that she was gracious enough to take pictures with us and him so that one day he can see everyone who helped bring him into the world that day. I’m again so thankful to have to have seen her love for him.

After our sweet good-byes we loaded into the car for our long drive and headed home with Micah Nicholas…

Categories: Adoption, Birthday, Motherhood | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Micah’s story,part 1:the call

Micah came into this world almost a month ago but his story began before the day we laid eyes on our new son.

While I don’t feel it appropriate to share everything, I do want to share some of how God placed him with us.

On April 26th, we attended our first adoption meeting and on October 22nd Michah Nicholas came into this world and into our family. It blows me away to think that the day Adam and I sat to listen to the adoption process in a meeting, God was already molding our sweet boy in his birth mommy’s tummy. Β And He was molding our hearts to be ready to meet him not too long after. That day we felt like we’d already been waiting forever but God had gone before us as He always does and knew that the waiting would bring the perfect child into our family. Thank you God for knowing what we don’t.

About a month before Micah was born I was really struggling with when we would have another baby. I was wondering why God wanted us to wait. I was sad to keep waiting. But God was preparing me.

On a Thursday in October I ran 10 miles. At least 8 of those were spent telling God all of my fears and releasing my will to His. I know that sounds crazy to some, but it was amazingly freeing to leave that run with a changed heart and having told God that I’d wait a year…I’d wait two or however long for another child. I wouldn’t keep being sad but in the meantime I’d cherish my son and husband. I finished that run knowing I would be clinging to the Lord and that I’d be just fine.

The next day I went to the dentist and as a friend who had adopted cleaned my teeth (weird, I know), she told me all about their adoption and about the waiting and asked me questions. As I listened I processed so many things about what I’d expected and how God just does His own thing and doesn’t leave us without peace. It was finally fun to hear someone else’s story.

I got home that afternoon and saw I had missed a call. It was the call we’d been waiting for…so we thought. A mom having a girl had chosen us! She wanted to meet with us that following Wednesday! We were thrilled and nervous. After meeting with her though we had an uneasy feeling about the situation. Remember how God always provides peace? The next day we talked to Jana (our adoption specialist) and she understood our concerns. We really didn’t know where to go from there. Do we reject what God had seemingly placed in our hands? Certainly not right? Well, about an hour later we got another call from J saying something very unexpected (Adam got this call). This doesn’t normally happen, but the people in the Bethany office (our agency) felt like the holy spirit was prompting them to give us an opportunity to show our book to another mom. What?. The mom would be looking at book THAT DAY. What?.

I’ll just be honest, I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t even make an decision. I knew any decision I chose would be purely one from a heightened emotional state and I’d question if it was right. I was so thankful to have a Godly, spiritual leader for my husband in that moment. I knew I could give it over to him and he’d make a decision that was best. So Adam chose to show her our profile book. Funny thing though…they didn’t take our book to show (the profile books are the books you spend weeks making…pouring over the perfect pictures and telling the perfect story of your family to show to birth mothers). So this mom looked at four beautiful books of other couples. And after looking at these books (with stories and pictures) was shown a picture of us on a cell phone. Sigh…who would choose that over those books? Well…She said “that mom (me) has a sparkle and I want them to raise my baby”.

God goes before us. He tramples reason.

What?!? (PS allllll of this happened while Adam was out of town) I was at lunch while we waited to see if she chose us with Adam’s co-workers and on the drive there my only words were. “OH MY GOSH” I road with a friend who thankfully I could tell our story to and repeat that phrase to repeatedly.

I had asked God to made it abundantly clear where He was leading and He did. And the next part was that this baby BOY could be born at any moment! WHAT?!?? YAYYYYY!!!!

For the moment all we knew was he was healthy, big, and coming at any time. Β So we set up places for Emerson and we waited….

πŸ™‚

Categories: Adoption, Family | Tags: , | Leave a comment